I'm more together today and starting to think about the future. Since Love 'came back', I feel much more at peace with the world. My experience of mentally hearing Love Monday night has left me kind of shaken. My basic beliefs have been challenged. I didn't know whether to believe in any type of hereafter. Now I have to believe in some type, although I don't know exactly what type of hereafter to believe in. I have been expanding and re-examining my, until now, limited thinking. I have found out that twenty-seven percent of the America population experience something similar to what I have experienced at some point in their life. Forty-seven percent of widows and widowers have either talked with their loved one, heard them, as I did, say them, felt their presence or were touched by them. I didn't realize that it was nearly as common an occurrence as it is. I'm trying to discover whether I need to hire a medium or a psychiatrist.
I've run errands and found out that my car muffler and tailpipes will all have to be replaced at a cost of $103.00. I just don't have it right now and I hope that the weather gets colder, so that the police will have to keep their car windows rolled up to keep warm, and not hear my muffler situation.
I have started cleaning the house, although I don't feel like doing much to it. It is a mess, since I haven't done anything except mess it up royally since Saturday. Diane and Don have agreed to go to a marriage counselor. Hooray! It's not that I didn't appreciate his company the last several nights or that I minded him staying here, but they are both nice people and have a lot going for them. I feel they would be making a mistake if they divorced.
My mind is still too scattered to be interested in anything. I haven't been reading the papers or watching anything important on TV, or at least what I think of as important. Love's 'coming back' has had an effect on me and my life will never be the same. Although it isn't hard for me to imagine an existence of souls as thought patterns. because what else could they be, souls don't have lips and ears; the whole concept is difficult to envision. Love is still making my life extremely interesting, one way or another.
It's been rainy and dreary today, but I 'm beginning to look around at my physical surroundings and not feel overwhelmed anymore, although I still have periods of total despair.
