Saturday, February 11, 1984

I went to both Love's and Mom's hospitals today. Mom was sleeping, and even though I woke her up by holding her hand, she quickly fell asleep again, but not before complaining that my cold hand was making her hand cold. I just stood by her bed and looked down on her for a long time while she was sleeping. She looked so frail and tiny all curled up. I called Mom's new doctor's office, but was told that since he was a new father, unless it's an emergency, he isn't available until Monday. I will be most anxious to talk to him about Mom's long-term prognosis.

Love, in marked comparison to Mom, looked great! He was on solid food already. He had plant of places for IV's, I counted five, although none were connected to anything. He was on oxygen, as Mom was, but he was sitting up watching TV and reading tabloid magazines that his sister brought him, At least I don't have to worry about Love now, he's going to be fine. He wants me to visit him everyday until he''s released, but I can't afford the $5.00 worth of gasoline everyday. It will probably be Thursday, if my unemployment check comes on Wednesday, or Friday, if my unemployment check comes on Thursday, before I am able to go to see him again.

I drive so seldom anymore that I am uncomfortable driving. My car was also into dying all the way to both hospitals, although it was alright coming home. I had to rev up the accelerator with my right foot while applying the brake with my left foot, to keep it from dying all the way there.

I'm still into housecleaning today, but I don't feel as anxious as I have felt in the past. I got about ten hours of uninterrupted sleep before I woke up. Boy, I need that, even if I did wake up at 4AM.

4:15PM, Love's hospital called, "come back immediately".

7:39PM, Love is declared legally dead after his heart quit beating at 4:11PM, after open heart massage, and re-examination by surgical team of heart bypass grafts, while on life support systems. He died officially when nothing could be found wrong with the surgery, and support systems were withdrawn under optimal conditions. As he told his sister yesterday, he would see me again, and he did, just once.