I'm a speed reader and can assimilate information with amazing accuracy. Why don't they teach speed reading in high schools like they used to? It was required when I went to school in the late '50s and early '60s. It's been invaluable to me.
I went to my attorney, because now I need a new will. He greeterdme as usual, with a big hug and kiss. No one seems to understand why I have had such bad luck and neither do I. My whole life has been a series of high-highs or low-lows, with the exception of about three years, and no in-betweens. I still am not up to facing people - exactly, and I don't know exactly what I mean by that.
I am doing the necessary errands, the business of my life, and what remains of Love's business details. I am getting sympathy cards now, and am mailing notes to all the people, who I know cared. I cleaned Mom's room and my room, and will do more housework tomorrow. Mom is doing okay, although she is still not eating solid food. I've eaten one whole orange, some soup that I canned last year, a glass of milk and lots of coffee. My appetite is still nil, although last night I was so hungry that I went back for seconds.
Although I have never been able to envision a temple and pearly gates, my background is an extremely religious one. Sitting by the pearly gates forever would be extremely boring for me. I can only picture God as he has been taught to me, a sometime very nasty man that looks like Uncle Sam. I can't relate to anything as malefic as the clergy have portrayed God to be. In fact, the whole concept of Hell is unreal to me, and I don't believe there is one, except in our own minds. How can God be all powerful and yet let Hell exist. Wouldn't it be better for God to destroy the world and everyone in it, rather than chance one person going to Hell forever? I also don't know if I believe in Jesus Christ the way the clergy has portrayed him to be: he may have been the greatest flower child of all time. I was totally out of touch with religion, because of the ideas that I had been taught by the clergy. I can envision a world of free floating spirits, because spirit is personality, wit, charm, specials interests, etc. Everything that a person is, he is because of his spirit. I still have trouble with a mental picture of God, but I can relate to a force of some type. "Star Wars", indeed!
